#don't make me think about himmmmm what is the matter with youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

[teddybeartoji]

sae itoshi number one wet cat lover in bllk btw

. DON'T SAY THAT

[professormembranexreader]

Procrastination uwu

-he calls you all sorts of pet names

-most of them are in Spanish. Lucky you

-if you don't know Spanish you better learn soon or he'll make you

-he'll occasionally call you some of the sensible English ones like "honey" "cutie" etc.

-but most of the time you'll get called cariño, mi amor, or one of the several words for pretty/beautiful

-he is extremely touch starved

-totally not projecting what

-when you touch him in any way shape or form, he'll flinch away at first but will press himself into your hand or whatever you're touching him with

-he really likes to hold hands even thought he can't truly feel your skin anymore but let a man dream •=(

-other than that, he likes butterfly kisses, little-contact kisses in general,

-also hugs. he's such a hugger

-be prepared to be his giant teddy bear they sell in stores for Valentine's Day

-it took a while for him to get used to lots of contact, but eventually you two cuddled all the time.

-he's the little spoon. end of discussion

-he also likes to play with your hair

-it doesn't matter how short or long it is, dreads or shaved, he'll definitely have his hands on your head, at least massaging your neck and/or shoulders

-did I mention he gives great massages?

-because he does.

-like it's moan worthy even if you're ace/aro/ace aro

-like food wars is with food but massages

-like

-like damn

-he gets so caught up in his work that he kinda,,,,forgets to take care of himself

-his kids wouldn't disturb him because 1, don't do that 2, you're disgusting you're revolting I'm gonna kill you gimme $200 3, that's not,,,,very,,,good??

-plus his robots take care of them

-Dib is off trying to kiss I mean punch zim and Gaz is kinda worried but Dib isn't so should she be???

-you are the only one that can pull him away from his work

-you cook

-he sucks at cooking

-even if Dib doesn't like you (Gaz won't like you at the beginning anyway so) his kids will keep you around because Foodio's meals always taste kinda,,,, weird.

-they want real food

-human food

-regular human food

-and there is no way Membrane is allowed to make anything but super toast

-even the super toast is iffy

-they like it when you don't immediately make Mexican and actually ask for their opinion

-like maybe they want pizza???

-chicken and rice!?!?

-mayBE THEYRE SICK OF GOD DANG QUESADILLAS FROM TACO BELLLLL

-anyways they like your cooking even if it's shit.

-it can't be worse than their dads at least

-he does do the cleaning though

-like uGh can this man get any more swoon-worthy???

-I'd say marry me but I can't drive dhsjakaha

-like, as soon as you found out you knew this man was NOT getting out of your life.

-he won't admit anything about it, but we're pretty sure he likes doing it

-in fact, one reason his office is inexplicably messy is he likes to organizer when he wants to destress (btw want y'all to know that suggestion was inexplicably gay)

-that and he always falls asleep at his desk before he can actually start cleaning

-he doesn't swear. a fine, respectable gentleman.

-YOU on the other hand

-it doesn't matter if you don't swear much or if you're shy/slow to anger/ not loud in general, yOU ARE GETTING MAD FOR HIMMMMM

-if someone smack his ass their ass is getting clapped

-like you finna go to jail bb

-if you are a normal person though, it think of yourself as less, you usually just grumble under your breath and hide yourself in his coat

-if you do anything whatsoever, he's happy

-he's a happy boye

-a very happy boye